25th April 2009
This month has not been pretty exciting and this blog has been getting less exciting too. I realized that I have been updating less stuff onto the blog. Not too sure if it is co-related to my relationship with my wifey or if that is a causation of our relationship.
I have been meeting up with wifey pretty often. Usually after my work or after his school hours if he is off early I will try to meet him. He has always tried his best to suit to my timing to meet me up as well. Thus, if we meet so much, there should be stuff to update but somehow there is not much.
Maybe I am out of words. I read the past postings and found that I am bored by most of them. My ability to write funny stuff seems to be deteriorating as I aged. Not too sure if that is normal. That is also the reason I had decided to not share with wifey about this blog. It will bore him and I do not want to strike him as a boring husband with poor blog-writing ability, even if I really am.
April is gonna be over soon in a week and I am not too sure how the month can be remembered more specially for both me and wifey. Our routine nowadays seems ‘routine’. When we meet, the talk is less and the eating is normal. The intimacy time is less when we are out together. I understand the part where by wifey refuse to act too intimate with me when we are outside, as he is afraid his relatives might be anywhere and may see. What I do not understand is that the way wifey talks to me and treats me.
It’s not that he is treating me bad or talking to me bad but somehow I felt that he can talk to me in a sweeter mode and sometimes I felt really disappointed when he talked to me as if I am not even someone worth giving respect. I am really hoping that he can talk to me in a better way he talks to other people like his colleagues, classmates or his Ben10. I know it is stupid of me to compare but somehow I wished for the person I loved most to treat me special regardless we are alone or with his friends. And when I mean special I mean it in the nice way and not the bullying way.
Anyway I think I am off my focus as this blog is suppose to record my feelings on the way I post and to reflect if this is due to personal incompetence or the lacking of ‘something’ in my relationship. Corelation vs. Causation. It is difficult to differentiate and I am also pretty lost on this.
I am quite sure though that I love wifey deeply with all my heart and soul and I can feel that wifey loves me too. There is no doubt about our affection towards each other. However, something is amiss and I am not sure what it is. I can feel that the puzzle is missing a piece and yet that piece has not yet been found. I know this sounds crazy but I know what I am feeling.
Both me and wifey loves each other but we lack of something that can strengthen our love and make it a concrete one. Right now, we are like cement powder and water mixed together. We are still in the liquid form and not stabilized. There are so many uncertainties and we lack of a substance that can make our relationship concrete and stable. As for what substance, that is what I need to find out.
This month has been hectic as both of us were pretty broke and we are not able to have the kind of lifestyle we want but soon things will change. I am going to take up more responsibility in my work and that would means less timing available for my wifey. This may be a good change as I hope that wifey will miss me more and treasure me now that I have less time with him. At least, treasure whatever time we have together.
This will even be more so when I took up my further studies next year. Am not sure how this will compromise my relationship with wifey but I have to try. I need to know that I will be treasured by the person I love most.
This month has not been pretty exciting and this blog has been getting less exciting too. I realized that I have been updating less stuff onto the blog. Not too sure if it is co-related to my relationship with my wifey or if that is a causation of our relationship.
I have been meeting up with wifey pretty often. Usually after my work or after his school hours if he is off early I will try to meet him. He has always tried his best to suit to my timing to meet me up as well. Thus, if we meet so much, there should be stuff to update but somehow there is not much.
Maybe I am out of words. I read the past postings and found that I am bored by most of them. My ability to write funny stuff seems to be deteriorating as I aged. Not too sure if that is normal. That is also the reason I had decided to not share with wifey about this blog. It will bore him and I do not want to strike him as a boring husband with poor blog-writing ability, even if I really am.
April is gonna be over soon in a week and I am not too sure how the month can be remembered more specially for both me and wifey. Our routine nowadays seems ‘routine’. When we meet, the talk is less and the eating is normal. The intimacy time is less when we are out together. I understand the part where by wifey refuse to act too intimate with me when we are outside, as he is afraid his relatives might be anywhere and may see. What I do not understand is that the way wifey talks to me and treats me.
It’s not that he is treating me bad or talking to me bad but somehow I felt that he can talk to me in a sweeter mode and sometimes I felt really disappointed when he talked to me as if I am not even someone worth giving respect. I am really hoping that he can talk to me in a better way he talks to other people like his colleagues, classmates or his Ben10. I know it is stupid of me to compare but somehow I wished for the person I loved most to treat me special regardless we are alone or with his friends. And when I mean special I mean it in the nice way and not the bullying way.
Anyway I think I am off my focus as this blog is suppose to record my feelings on the way I post and to reflect if this is due to personal incompetence or the lacking of ‘something’ in my relationship. Corelation vs. Causation. It is difficult to differentiate and I am also pretty lost on this.
I am quite sure though that I love wifey deeply with all my heart and soul and I can feel that wifey loves me too. There is no doubt about our affection towards each other. However, something is amiss and I am not sure what it is. I can feel that the puzzle is missing a piece and yet that piece has not yet been found. I know this sounds crazy but I know what I am feeling.
Both me and wifey loves each other but we lack of something that can strengthen our love and make it a concrete one. Right now, we are like cement powder and water mixed together. We are still in the liquid form and not stabilized. There are so many uncertainties and we lack of a substance that can make our relationship concrete and stable. As for what substance, that is what I need to find out.
This month has been hectic as both of us were pretty broke and we are not able to have the kind of lifestyle we want but soon things will change. I am going to take up more responsibility in my work and that would means less timing available for my wifey. This may be a good change as I hope that wifey will miss me more and treasure me now that I have less time with him. At least, treasure whatever time we have together.
This will even be more so when I took up my further studies next year. Am not sure how this will compromise my relationship with wifey but I have to try. I need to know that I will be treasured by the person I love most.
“I love You Wifey Shaari.”
Hubby Roger
Hubby Roger
