Love Amplified

29th November 2008

Today is Saturday, a weekend. I was feeling excited because tonight me and wifey will be going for a concert together. Love Amplified is the first concert held in Singapore in support of Worlds Aids Day. This concert aims to educate the public on knowledge of aids as well as to raise the awareness of the deadly disease.

Me and wifey had already redeem 4 Levi’s T-shirt (2 for each of us) from the complimentary tickets sent to my workplace from Health Promotion Board. Since my colleagues are not interested while I am very keen, all four tickets were used by me. In order not to waste tickets, wifey had invited Nad (his classmate) and her boyfriend but they are not able to make it.

Wifey invited Cath and Sri instead but only Cath is available. So the three of us went to the concert in the evening and grab a nice spot, lay out the poncho on the grass and sat on it to watch the show. Although the sitting position and arrangement is not that comfortable, the show overall is not bad. All of the performers are local and they also screened real-life victims of aids to give comments.

Especially enjoy the performances by Hosen Leong and the Dim Sum Dolly. They are really fabulous and funny. The crude jokes they create not only make 90% of the audience laugh loudly but also bring the deadness of the audience alive. Compared to other performances such as dance and singing by other bands and groups, these three women and a man really makes the whole concert much more lively.

After the concert, wifey and me had planned to go PLAY for clubbing. Cath was tired thus she headed back home. We went to tantric but did not go in as the place looked pack with people. Wifey also worried I will be jealous since he knew a few guys there (most likely his past flings) and that place is famous for picking up guys for sex. So we head to PLAY straight and wifey was already excited with the music when we were outside.

Once inside, we realized that they were having also a World Aids Day party and performance. Each of us is given a small package consist of a badge, a box of condom (3 pieces) and a few pieces of colour paper for some games later. We squeezed to the front-est possible to have a good look at the show and it was quite enjoyable. One thing about PLAY that night, it was packed with young boys around age 18 to 21. Many of them are obvious to be JC students who just finished their ‘A’ levels and who just turned 18 this year. Wifey and me were commenting that Brendan will be in heaven to be surrounded by all these boys.

For the whole night, we total had 2 vodka orange and 3 E33. Practically, I only drink one mouth of E33 and one glass of vodka orange because I do not really like the taste of E33. We spent most of the time on the dance floor as the music is really terrific. Most of the songs are hit songs and remixed into clubbing used version. Even for me who seldom listen to radio and English songs, the flow of the music set me into the mode of shaking my body.

There was these two moments when my dick was hard when wifey danced in front of me with his ass brushing against my dick. It feels good and sexy. Best of all is wifey then use his hand and grab my hard dick through pants and drag me along to another spot. This feels totally sexual and nice. Hoped wifey can do that more often as that gives me the feeling that he is possessive and showing me off to everyone that he is with me and I am his and his only, so no one is allowed to touch me but him. And I like it when he behaves like that as that shows how much I mean to him.

There was a guy who kind of look at me a few times that night. He looked kind of familiar though but I could not remember who he is and I do not care either. Wifey noticed and he pointed middle-finger when that guy looked at me. I liked it. Jealousy from my wifey means he likes to own me to himself only and also showed that I mean a lot to him.

Me and wifey were dancing 80% of the time in PLAY and by the time we left the place, my back was aching already. I cannot believe how great wifey is on the dance floor. His stamina has improved a lot since he started to gym. This is a good sign as that means he is now healthier compared to the past. Must continue to encourage him to exercise for his own health sake so that if one day I am no longer around to look after him, he can look after himself.

We left the place around 3.15am in the morning and head to the food centre to have a meal. We were both hungry but he did not eat a lot. We then took a cab back to wifey’s house. Along the way back, I was telling wifey that we should stop looking into the case of the chub orgy thingy since it leads to nowhere. Basically, I am keen to know the truth but I was afraid to find out the truth. Partly because I still think wifey is the one who did it and if he needs to cover it up, he will need more lies to cover and it will really be pressuring for him. I just want him happy thus I really do not wish to continue to check on this.

Wifey had different sentiments as he felt that his accounts were being abused which are true since I practically seen him online a few times when he was supposing be in school. Thus, he was determined to find out who has the possibility to access all his account and knew all of his password. This is indeed scary and I guess finding out is going to take a long time, so might just as well change the password first to prevent further abuse of his account. After chatting, we both actually fell asleep and only wake up about a minute before we reached his place.

I was pretty nervous as I am not sure if my MIL was at home and according to the plan, once wifey opened the door, I must go straight into the house. Then when morning MIL goes toilet, wifey will quickly open the door for me to leave the house. Exciting right? We proceed with the plan and when wifey opened the door, me was quick to enter his room and stay quiet and still there. When wifey came in to the room, he told me MIL is not at home and we both felt relief. I decided to stay since we are going to attend his colleague’s wedding ceremony in the late morning.

We stripped to our underwear and lie on the bed. I was horny but wifey was tire. I did not want to wait till the morning as wifey mentioned that MIL may come back in the morning and if that happened, the chance of me making-love to wifey will be greatly reduced. Plus I know both of us well, we were both tired and if we sleep, we will not wake up in time to do what we want to do. So I proceed to make love with wifey even though he was not reciprocating a lot. Finally I shoot my cum all inside wifey and helped him to cum after that. We then wash up and sleep next to each other till the morning.

“Wifey Shaari, Love you forever and ever.”
Hubby Roger

My Date with My Wifey

28th November 2008

I did not sleep at all the previous night after meeting wifey for the confrontation. I tried to cheer up because I have a meeting in the afternoon in the school with the FTSC and VP. They are really not nice people to have meeting with, especially the VP. He really changed into a different person after he became the VP.

I went to work early to clear my mind off the unhappy thoughts. Was sms-ing with wifey in hope to regain my useful happy mood and also to make him cheerful so that he will not be distracted in class and can concentrate. It turned out to be kind of sexual in our sms.

“Wish I m in the train wif u then can wrap my arms around ur waist n hug u”

“hehehe so sweet muack muack love u”

“Love u too… wanna hug u n when u turn ur head around look at me, I kiss u softly on ur lips…”

“I wanna slip my hands inside ur shirt n move slowly to ur chest n caress my princess’s sexy nipple heads”

“then I pinch my princess’s nipples n turn them like radio knob… along with massage actions to caress ur chest… n kiss u at the same time”

“u making me hard in the train hahaha.”

“then I will move my hand down to ur nice ass n squeeze it n massage it… while the other hand continue to caress ur nipples”

“then u start u insert ur finger into my ass & finger fuck me :) hehehe.”

“ya… going to finger fuck my princess’s ass n move the other hand to my princess’s cock n jerk it slowly”

“arghh I’m hard nw trying to cover using my bag.”

“I wanna rub my hard cock against my princess’s forbidden hole n lube it with my precum… then one hand jerk my princess’s cock other pinch my princess’s nips”

“nice hubby then can wifey pls suck ur dick wifey wants hubby dick in wifey mouth pls”

“yesh will let my princess take my cock in ur mouth before I push my dick inside princess’s forbidden hole”

“I want to suck hubby dick first make it hard and wet then while sucking I want hubby to finger fuck me and make wifey high”

“yeah hubby will love to do tat to my princess. Hubby also want to play with princess’s nipples as princess suck hubby’s dick n hubby finger fuck princess”

“how does my princess want me to fuck u?”

“arghh fuck me slow and deep”

“after finger fuck princess hubby wanna turn princess side way n lift princess legs up n insert my dick inside princess’s asshole”

“ya hubby start fuck slow n deep, then turn princess around n fuck face to face, kissing princess at the same time”

“lick my nipple too”

“yeah wanna do that then make princess sit on hubby’s dick… wanna hear princess moan too… can princess moan for me now?”

“ahhhh ahhhh fuck me hubby fuck me”

“ya… fuck my princess n after tat change doggy style n hubby ram dick hard n deep in princess’s ass…”

“yeah hubby fuck me wifey wants to c hubby cum pls”

“oh yeah hubby wanna fuck wifey long long, fast fast n hard hard… where u wan hubby to cum my wifey?”

“on my dick and then use it to jerk me off”

There was the overall of the sms and well it got me really hard and horny for wifey. We arranged to meet after my meeting and after his class for hot nasty sex in hotel 81. After all the hot and sexy sms I continued to turn on my pc to surf net. I feel better now and felt the love I have with wifey and that felt really good.

I still do not have the mood to really work so I started off playing facebook. The internet in the office is sucky and slow even though it is suppose to be faster after we subscribe to a faster package. Was frustrated waiting for my facebook to load the page. Halfway playing I got a call from wifey asking me if I am logged on to his msn. Wish I can cos I always wonder who he talked to on msn. Honestly I was a bit upset also as he said that I am the only one who knows his password that’s why he called to ask me. It is a weird feeling cos it felt untrusted but also felt great that I am the only one who knew his password.

Anyway, accordingly to wifey, his classmate JP saw him online and asked him that’s why wifey called me to ask. Since I am not using msn, wifey then proceed to sms his mum and asked if anyone is at home using his lappy but he told me his mum did not reply. I suddenly have a scary thought that maybe all the time it was his mum trying to find out about him and abusing his lappy… will ask him the possibility later.

My com practically hang when I try to start my msn to check if he is online. Waited for it to restart and once it is back to life, I login to my straight account just in case it is really his mum and I do not want the “Roger ♥ Shaari” heading to appear when I try to ask who is the person using his account. There was no reply at all when I asked who the person is and even nudge a few times. Weirdly, the person went offline within minutes and I wonder why. This is not the first time I saw wifey online when he was supposed to be in school lecture. Things are getting more and more weird.

Well, no time to waste as I need to complete my work since I planned to meet wifey after the meeting. Concentration directed into work till the meeting and after that got sms from wifey that his mobile died and he using Nad’s mobile to sms me telling me he will wait for me at boon keng mrt station.

When I reached the mrt station I was freaking worried. Wifey is not contactable as his mobile is down. Nad sms me saying he had reach the mrt station before I got there and I did not see him anywhere. I started to go up and down the mrt different exits hoping to find him somewhere buying food. I even went into the mrt down the escalator and see if he is waiting inside and I still cant find him. I was sweating and I felt hot. Suddenly I saw wifey taking the escalator up from the station and finally felt relieve he just arrived. Signal him not to come out and I went in to meet him.

We took the train to Kovan mrt station and shop a while before we head to hotel 81. He wants to buy chocolate. We also bought a birthday present for his niece and a small tube of body lotion to massage him because he was feeling aching at the back of the neck and his shoulder blades. When we are done we proceed to Kovan Hotel 81 and get a room for 2 hours.

Inside the room we removed our clothes. Wifey was in his pink aussie bums and me in my skinwear blue boxer. Wifey took a shower to wash up while I prepare to massage him. Gave wifey a massage for about 15 minutes, on his back and when it was done we were kissing a lot a lot on the bed. When I said a lot, it is a lot because I felt that we were kissing as though we never kissed before. And it was not just plain exchange of saliva kind of kissing, it was loving kissing. I can feel the love I have for wifey stronger and deeply with each passing second during the kiss. I do not even wish to stop kissing him and just hope time will stop and let us kiss eternally.

I started to shift my concentration from his lips to his nipples. I know wifey like me to play with his nipples, especially with my tongue. I lick his nipples taking turns on left and the right. Also bite them softly and sometimes both, biting them softly between my upper and lower teeth while using my tongue to lick the nipple head. That drives wifey crazy and moaning.. I also tried to lick his balls area and that makes him moved his body in pleasure. Though at some point to time it becomes ticklish and I had to stopped. Wifey is simple enjoying every single moment and so am I.

We also started hugging each other and he lies on my body like a little lost rabbit, so tender and so need-to-be-protected which I like as it makes me feel masculine. I was already very wet with flowing precum but I do not feel like fucking at that moment. I want just my wifey by my side and that was what I got at that point of time. We started kissing again and I started to play with his asshole as we kissed again. His hole is so tight that my finger can only play around it outside. Had to use lube for sure if my finger wanted to go in.

I took the lube out from my bag and started to lube his ass. As I am doing so, I was also kissing him. Then I started to kiss his nipples again and lick them, suck them and bite them gently as my finger slowly insert into his ass. I started to finger fuck wifey as I play with his nipples with my teeth and tongue. Wifey was moaning in pleasure and I was very happy because I am able to satisfy him sexually in bed. Halfway wifey stopped because he needs to clear his bowel so we take a 5 minutes break.

When wifey was out from the toilet, he looked more sexy wrapped in almost falling towel. He started to go for my dick. I was still in my boxer so he took my dick out fro the boxer and swallow it hungrily. It felt really good and warm in his mouth and he try his best to swallow as deeply as possible. He even lick my balls area which he had never done before. It shocked me and gives me a lot of pleasure as that was my weak point, just like his is nipples. He continued to suck my dick and at the same time remove my boxer totally. He was wrapped in towel but the ass portion was exposed. Very sexy and seductive. I took the lube and lube his ass again and then started to finger fuck him as he suck my cock.

We were both in such pleasure and I can feel his inner walls inside his ass. It was a really nice feeling and it also drives wifey crazy. He started to tell me “hubby fuck me please, hubby fuck me” That drives me wild. I told him if he wanna me to fuck him, he has to suck me more and he quickly put my cock in his mouth again and suck me deep and hard. It was really great and then I apply lube to my dick and he then position himself on top of me and ride my dick.

It was a good start as it gives him time to adjust to his pleasure so that he will not be in pain. It also gives me rest time and arouse me as I get to play his nipples at the same time. Wifey started to fuck my dick with his ass as he moved his ass up and down and at some time I will thrust upwards as he down downwards to make my dick goes deeper most into his ass. We both were in pleasure.

After that we change to another position. We were both like half-sitting and I continue to fuck him. Wifey likes that position a lot and he was moaning crazy asking me to fuck him harder and deeper. I was also very tire in that position to fuck but I do not want to stop, it felt too good. That position alone lasted about 30 minutes and wifey then asked me to cum on his dick as he wanted to jerk off with my cum as lubricant. I continue fucking wifey hard and fast in that position and before I cum, I took it out and shoot my load all over his dick. Then I started to kiss him and play with his nipples as I jerk him with my cum.

Wifey wanna me to put my dick in his ass again and we tried but I was only able to erect half so in the end I finger fuck wifey again as he jerk himself and I lick his nipples at the same time. In a short while wifey cummed. It as a fucking good session, better than working out in the gym. We were both shagged and tired but satisfied with the whole love making session especially that we almost lose each other.

We washed up and while getting ready, we discussed also and agree to share a common account for the gay websites such as trevvy, guys4men etc. This account will be used by both of us to browse profiles or even to make fun or others or to announce to the whole gay community that we are a couple. Wifey agrees to the idea and we will then delete off our current accounts when we have the time to do so. I was happy wifey agree as that makes me share a part of his gay lifestyle. We then check-out of the hotel room, proceed to dinner and I send him back home.

“Thank you Wifey Shaari for everything.”
“I am so glad we are still together and will work hard to keep us together forever.”
Hubby Roger

Hurtful Confrontation

28th November 2008

The below blogged happens between 27th November 2008, 2200 hours (approximately) to 28th November 2008, 0500 hours (approximately too).

On 27th November 2008, around 2200 hours, after chatting on the phone with wifey, I felt horrible. The tone I used chatting with wifey was not as sweet and loving as I used to be. Partly because of the “trust”thingy we talked about, plus the nightmare I had nights ago, they managed to combo-ed me into a totally fearful and paranoid person.

I started surfing all the possible websites, namely trevvy & fridae for possible clues since wifey mentioned he surfed those websites the night before when he slept around 2.00 am in the morning. I do not know what I am seeking or looking for but I continue browsing looking at the posting in their forums. The search was tiring as I was already moody and I was practically looking at the lappy screen for about 2 hours and reading the topics gay guys post in forum.

I looked for mostly sexual request topics since the nightmare I had involved cheating which means sex. Am really disgusted with the way people looked for sex in the cyber world nowadays. Gays are now more open due to these channels and people are openly asking for sex, even 3somes and mass orgies. Worse of all, lots of such requests indicated no-usage of condoms. They are asking for sexual and fetishes gratification in the raw. Some even asked to be fed, wanting the top guys to fuck them and cum inside their ass and/or mouth. No wonder aids is on the rise and I now just have to admit, Singapore gay guys now plays a big part to be blamed for this wide spread of the deadly disease.

A fruitless search for almost two hours and I am glad I cannot find anything. It is a good sign and I felt better. It has to be good that I cannot find anything. Am really tire and thought maybe I am just thinking too much. I still cannot get to sleep even though my eyes are really heavy. Suddenly I remember the forum Blowing Wind, which wifey used to go read the posting. I do not like this forum as there are a lot of sexual stuff involved, and mostly are about chubs, and old men. Well, since I can’t sleep, I went in to the forum and read some postings.

After about one hour of reading I chanced upon a posting. This posting was started by a middle-aged guy who likes chubby and stocky guys. He was living alone in a condo at West Coast and he planned to organize a chub orgy for chubby and stocky gay guys at his condo. Below is his posing and his nick in the forum is seekcutechub

I got place at west coast and love to watch chubs as I find them cute.....

planning a chubs orgy session with 3 chubs and more.....

i am 34 170 77 chn.

Any chubs keen?

need both TOp and Btmpls

leave your keenness here

There are a lot of replies to his posting requesting to join in the orgy, both tops and bottoms. One of the posting attracted my attention. It was posted by a guest who named himself mlyboi. Below is the reply by mlyboi:

count me in

24mly 179 95

chubbyboi35@yahoo.com

e-mail me

So, why do this reply attracts me?

Firstly, the stats given are almost like my wifey’s stats. Well, of course there are always coincidence around the world since I cannot expect wifey to be the only one person who has such a nice stats (I am not a chaser but I like whatever stats my wifey has).

Secondly, I remembered wifey telling me before that he likes stocky guys and the replies in this posting includes a few stocky top guys. That is what catch my attention.

This time I was really confused. I started to wonder if it was posted by wifey. I hoped not. I do not know how to find out since wifey was asleep and did not reply to my previous sms. I decided to do something I hated to do. To login to wifey’s email account.

I hate to do that because it invades a person’s privacy and wifey is one such person who hate people to invade his privacy, which I totally respect that. Also, since the last time I saw his trevvy account, I was already feeling freaking upset and I do not wish to have the same thing happening again to me. Still, I wanted to find out more so I started to login and search for possible mails which I hoped not to find.

After login in I started to read the topics of the email and I was hurt badly. There is a reply email on a topic chub orgy and when I saw that my heart totally sank. Damn why did I choose to login to his account. Fuck!! I enter the email and read and to my most utter disappointment, it was an email sent to the fellow posted in blowing wind forum who organizes the chub orgy. I do not remember the exact word by word details since I cannot login to wifey’s account again at this point to time without asking his permission. But I recall the email asking for wifey’s pic and the initial email sent by wifey was the exact thing posting by mlyboi is blowing wind forum. The email stated his interest in the orgy and gave the exact stats. Worse of all, there are two additional information stating that wifey is into stocky guys and telling the person he stays at tamp and need someone to send him to the place and back home.

At that point of time I was totally weak and I really felt my whole body tremble. A lot of thoughts went through my mind. I started to wonder if wifey is just been playing and playing those guys out. But then I tell myself, he promised me never to do that again since we last chatted about this when he surf irc. Now, if that is not the case, then is this the first time wifey tried to arrange sex and orgy or has he done that before? I dared not think of the answer at all and I almost faint. It is not exaggerating because I was so weak I literally fell on the floor and the noise woke my mum even. She even came inside to see if I am ok.. It was painful but that cannot even compare to the pain in my heart.

I saw another email from yahoo indicating wifey to verify an email account created. I started to fear that the account was the email address posted by mlyboi. I click on the link and it leads to where I hope it does not go. I logout of the account and started to try enter the new account wifey created. Spent almost 30 minutes before I managed to guess the password and to my horror, the password was the user name used by wifey in fridae profile.

At that point of time, I was totally heart-broken. I started to think about this one year plus and my relationship with wifey. I was angry, in fact very angry why he did such a thing. Even if he did it to play others out he could have told me. The worst of all things that can happen to me is to let me find this out on my own. I started to think back, maybe I am just not the man for him. No matter how much things I have done, how many cards I made for him, how much things I bought him and how much time and attention I gave him, I am not stocky. I am a pathetic lean and skinny man with an ugly face that no gay guys will want to even take a second look at. This is something I cannot change and this is something that he is not aroused. I am not stocky.

I sat on my bed because I was totally weak and think of what I should do. I really am lost here. I thought about checking his email regularly and see how he will reply. This is the most horrible thought. It invades his privacy totally and I hate that. I cannot do that as it totally will ruin our relationship. After some thoughts, I sms wifey to ask him to call me, telling him how I was feeling and waited for his call.

After a few minutes, wifey had not called. I cannot wait anymore so I called wifey and asked him to call me back immediately after reading the sms. After wifey called, I confronted him directly if he made any posting in any gay forum, which he denied. When I asked if he as created any new email account, he also denied. I was started to get really disappointed at that time cos all I hoped for was the truth from wifey.

I then proceed to tell him what I found out and get him to turn on his lappy and internet to see what I discovered, in hope that he would confess truthfully to me what he had done. To my dismay, he still denied everything. I was really upset and do not feel like talking to him anymore from now on. I do not even feel like having this relationship anymore. I do not understand how he can deny something like this when the concrete evidence is there and he can still pretend he knew nothing of it at all.

I went to my brother’s room and get his car key. I do not feel like staying at home and I definitely do not want to talk to wifey anymore. I do not know how to face the person I love so deeply when I cannot even get him to tell me the truth. I do not know what this relationship is built on anymore and I felt like the biggest idiot in this world.

Wifey called me again to talk and we agreed to meet at his void deck and he is supposed to bring his lappy so that I can show him the evidence and find more evidence about him being the one who did the actions. I was feeling really sad in my heart. I do not know if our relationship will go on after the meet up. I am not sure if I can take the truth. Maybe his denial did not make me happy, but his denial gave me hope that there is a chance we can still be a couple.

Once at the void deck, wifey explained to me that his lappy was not only being used by him but also his cousins and one of his cousins is a 16 years old gay. He suspected that the cousin might have used his name and email to do this prank. This is so hard for me to believe and further checking also indicates that wifey did surf the website blowing wind and he was alone. There are already so many evidence against him and till that point of time, he only tell me he does not know anything and he is not the one.

Think of it, am I supposed to believe him and trust him anymore? The evidences are so obvious.

1. someone posted in blowing wind and asked to be included in the orgy, stating his email account
2. the email account was linked to the account wifey used all the time
3. there was a sent email from the account wifey used to the guy who organized the orgy
4. there was a reply email from the guy who organized the orgy to wifey
5. the history folder in wifey’s lappy indicates he surf the posting when he was alone and using his lappy
6. there was a sent email to the orgy organizer in his sent folder when I was talking to him on the phone but when I reached his void deck, there was no such email in the sent box

All of the evidence form into a chain, pieces of the picture was formed and all I heard from wifey was still he does not know anything and he will find out who did all those stuff. At that point of time I was in tears already and I wanted to breakup with him. I am so upset that the trust I put in him seem to be betrayed by him. The effort I put in this relationship seem to have been washed down the drain and the love I gave him, all abused and made used of. I do not even feel like talking to him or seeing him anymore.

He was in tears too when I mentioned about breaking up. My heart was in pain. To say such a thing to the person I loved so much and in fact the only one I loved, it was very very painful. I would rather someone stake me in the heart and kill me on the spot. I was not even able to hold back my tears and I do not know if that is the right choice at the point of time.

Wifey asked me not to walk away from this talk. He is right. Breaking up may not be the best choice. I know that I love him too much to leave him. We sat down again at the bench and talked. Wifey hold my hand and told me again he will take all the responsibility for the time now since all the evidence I found are all against him. He also told me he will find out who did this and he will not stop because this person who did all these stuff almost caused us to breakup.

I told wifey honestly I do not believe such a person exist. I still think he is the one who did all that and he was just afraid to admit. Afraid that admitting means he broke his promise and breached the trust I have in him. I even told wifey that his honestly is the best thing for me. Even if he is the one who did all these, I will not hold it against him because I truly love him with all of my heart. I do not know if the truth will ever be known to me and to wifey is wifey is not the one who did all this.

The early morning did not end that well. I was still very upset. I did not break up with wifey and I am glad of it because I love him too much. I know for sure if I lost him, I will not live another day. It may sound stupid but it is the truth. The love I have for him is too deep and if I need to choose, I choose death over losing wifey. I sent wifey up and we hug tightly to each other before he went back home. I was still in a bit in tears. I am still not sure if I can accept that he did not know a thing about all this.

“Wifey Shaari, I may still have the thoughts that you did all of these.”
“That did not stop me from loving you any lesser, and I mean it.”
“Should you be the one who did this, all I hoped for is to hear the truth from your mouth and the reason why you did all this.”
“I want to have a future, a live and a good, loving relationship with you.”
“I want to be your hubby forever, your prince always and your only man in life.”
“I want to love you, and want to be loved by you.”
Hubby Roger

Cheating Spouse - Part 3 (final thoughts)

27th November 2008

Today is the 477th day I am married to the man I love a.k.a. Shaari B Sapari. We are both still young in this relationship and anything can happen as we are both vulnerable. To make this relationship go on and strengthen it requires both our effort.

Today is a “not so good” day because a lot of unhappy things happen. Even till now I am feeling down. It’s 9.20 pm at night and I do not know what to do at all. Am just lying on my bed listening to the noise from the TV which I turned on and not watching. Am totally lost in a world of blankness even when I am blogging down this happening.

I had already talked to wifey on the phone and we even web-cam to see each other take our dinner to ensure none of us is starving. There is not much chatting and I tried to be happier but I just can’t. I do not know what to do to make our relationship better and stronger. I seem like a total loser in this aspect.

I do not even know why I am crying as I blog. What is upsetting me? Why is my heart feeling so painful? Where am I heading in this relationship? I am so clueless…

Before I officially proposed to wifey to marry me, I was very excited and I told many people about my decision. I do not have many gay friends or close friends that I can tell this happy news to because till now I am still pretty closeted. At that point of time, this piece of happy news was only told to strangers who are on my msn list.

Many of them whom I told of this news, in fact, all of them, told me the same things:
“It won’t last.”
“He will cheat on you.”
“Malays are never faithful.”

I remembered feeling fucking angry when I saw those comments and how I immediately fire back vulgarities through msn to those idiots making the comments. I then delete them off my msn and block them off at the same time. The worse of all are the comments by malays themselves, saying that they are malays and they know that’s how they are. One of them is currently attached with a boyfriend who is bottom and he cheated behind his bf back by letting another top fuck him because his bf is pure bottom. The horrible part is how proud he felt when he talked about it that he can fuck his bf raw and cum inside at the same time letting other tops cum inside him. Anyway, I did not let their words affect me at that point of time because I want to trust wifey and give both of us a chance to build a future together.

Today, at this point of time, I still believe in the future that I invested in with wifey. Although the words of those idiots echoed through my head once again, I have decided to ignore them again. Wifey may be a malay but not all malays are unfaithful to their spouse. Wifey is definitely the special one who will prove the rest of the malays wrong in this aspect.

“Love You Forever Wifey Shaari”
Hubby Roger

Cheating Spouse - Part 2 (my thoughts)

27th November 2008

I left home early since I woke up early due to the nightmare. I send sms to wifey asking if he was on his way to school and he replied he woke up late.

I knew wifey for a year plus already. He likes to sleep and can practically fall asleep as fast as 5 seconds time. However, for him to overslept is rare, unless he is seriously lacking sleeping hours. The last thing I remember before I fell asleep last night was he told me over msn he going to rest soon (around 11pm I guess) as he was feeling tire. Well I guess he did not sleep as early as I thought he would if he woke up late.

When he was on the way to school on the cab, I tried asking him what time he slept last night and what was he doing etc. This types of questions irritates wifey a lot I know, but I have to ask because partly I had this nightmare and I do not want the nasty part to happening in real life (its lame excuse I know but it's not lame to me).

And wifey was kind of defensive, mentioning that he felt I do not trust him when I ask him like that, especially when I asked if he was chatting online irc, or surfing gay websites etc. Well, it's not that I do not trust him but I was hoping that he can just tell me about it if he is not doing anything that is not wrong. Unless he is trying to hide something or feeling guilty because he did something he knows that will upset me, else what is so difficult about tell me about it? Worse of all, I do not know how to ask those questions tactfully so that it will not annoy him but am I really not suppose to ask at all in the name of trust?

I have seen many true cases of straight couples breaking up and some divorced because one party always used trust to prevent the other from asking such questions. Trust is built over long period of them and both parties have to be transparent in their lives to build that up. But trust is also vulnerable and can be destroyed easily. Once destroyed, it takes more than ten times the effort to build again.

I trust wifey all the time. Even though I am not pleased with his ideology about trust and personal space. He ever told me that if I request him to delete his gay sites accounts he will break up with me. Can anyone imagine your partner dumping you over a gay account on the website? Gosh I felt that he treasure that account more than treasure me. But still, I give him the freedom to continue all his accounts since I have to show him I trust him.

Honestly, I am also very lost. I only want a simple relationship with wifey. I do not need him to do many things but just be faithful to me in this relationship. I may not have the money to buy him everything he needs, I may not have the beefy-body that arouses him sexually, but I know I have always been a good and responsible husband since I met him. I could have flirt with other guys and fucked behind his back, but what is the point of doing it? Sexual gratification? It's all stupid if that is the reason behind all the fucks...

I know I will not be able to enter wifey's world totally no matter how much effort I put into this relationship. I will not force him anymore. Due to the questions I asked, we quarrelled again and started to feel unhappy about each other. Wifey felt that I am irritating and I do no trust him, I felt that he is keeping secrets from me and there is a possibility that he will hurt my feelings big time. There is simply no transparency in our relationship.

Today, after all that has happened, I asked myself these two questions:

“What will I do if I discover someday wifey is flirting with other guys on msn/sms/emails?”

“What will I do if I discover wifey fucked with someone behind my back?”

My answer to both questions is the same... and it will not be the answer anyone will be happy to see...

“Wifey Shaari, I love You.”
Hubby Roger

Cheating Spouse - Part 1 (Nightmare)

27th November 2008

I woke up freaking early today. Not because I have to come office early and not because I had enough sleep. I had a freaking nightmare.

Nightmares are common but for me it is a phobia I have. It's worse than cockroaches which I dislike. At least for cockroaches I can kill them with insecticides, or crush them with heavy books, if not just scare them away. For nightmares, I have totally no control over them. The scariest part of the nightmare is the feeling that I get as it is so real as if I am really inside the event. Every emotions, fear, sadness, unhappiness... I can experience them as if it is happening in the reality world. The worst of all... I have many, many déjà vu happening to me and I know the last one is not the last I will experience of it.

My nightmare started off good. I was in an open area filled with green grass and nice flowers. My wifey was there with me and we were both smiling and dressed up smartly. I dressed in white suit and wifey in black suit and both of us has got a bow tie around our neck. I cannot remember the background music but I remembered the place was nicely decorated with pink and white lilies and some of our friends are there in the distance. Wifey and I were holding hands walking towards them.

As we get closer to our friends, I saw a stage with wifey's and my name on it. There is also a big “Wedding” word on the stage and I realized that I am happy because I am getting married with wifey. We were both smiling like we strike lottery. That was the happiest smile I have seen wifey so far and it was stunning. We were then invited to the stage to read something prepared for each of us. The paper was rolled up nicely and tied up with a pink ribbon. Both me and wifey has a copy each and there is someone telling us to open one at a time and read it aloud to the each other.

I started to untie the ribbon and unroll the paper preparing to read the contents and read out loudly. There are more than one piece of paper but I looked alright and happy. The nightmare started the moment I unrolled the papers. Printed on the papers are not just sweet wordings that I am supposed to say to wifey. Inside the papers were pictures of wifey... but he was almost naked except for a jockstrap (the one we bought at sportsmenasia) and he was sucking a penis in his mouth with another penis in his ass. The figures of the two guys are quite clear in the picture and both belong to the beefy kind. Not very muscular and define in body but definitely having more meat than me. It is not only one picture of it but several of it with wifey getting fucked by different meaty guys in the jockstrap and his facial expression of enjoyment.

I was in total shocked as I flipped through the papers and the last few papers are email corresponds between wifey and other guys to arrange for the fuck sessions. I cannot remember the email address but I know it is not the usual email address wifey used for his email and msn. It was a totally different email address. I felt really heart-broken at that point of time and I can feel the pain even though it was only a dream. I showed wifey the letter and the pictures and the only reply I got from him was “I'm sorry.”

I suddenly fell to the ground and I was crying. When I looked up again I saw people I do not know and they were smiling and looking at wifey with strange looks. Wifey looked unhappy, maybe guilty, I can't describe the looks on his face. I then realized the people I do not know are the people fucking wifey in the picture. It was such an insult at that point of time.

I started to question wifey why did he do all this and make this thing happen on our wedding. It was stupid to ask because there is no reason he gave that will make the pain any lesser. But still, all I heard from wifey is “I'm sorry.” The people who fucked wifey started to laugh loudly at me telling me what a slut wifey was in bed and how he moan and how they fucked him over and over in many different positions. One of them even took a video camera out wanting to show me the process of fucking.

Wifey started to get angry also about them doing this and shouted at them to stop. But they continue to insult me and insult wifey and I started shouting at wifey also. In the end, we ended up quarrelling and blaming each other for this. All the time the laughter of those guys echoed in my head and suddenly wifey slapped me… this is the point I woke up. I was in tears when I woke up. And I was feeling freaking upset and painful in my heart.

I know it is just a nightmare but it was too real. Even at this point when I am blogging down this experience, I can still feel the pain of a cheating spouse. The pain of the insult wifey gave me by fucking with others and the insult of others giving me, mocking at my stupidity to marry someone who is unfaithful to me, marrying a slut.

“Wifey Shaari, I love You at this point of time.”
“The love I have for you now strengthened instead of lessened.”
“Even though I was really feeling all the negative emotions now, I still love you.”
“I hoped this dreams of discovering you cheating is just a dream.”
Hubby Roger

Home with Wifey

25th November 2008

Today is a happy day and I woke up very early. Today is the 2nd day of my family chalet at Aranda Country Club and also is the day I am meeting my wifey.

My family had booked a 3 day 2 night chalet at Aranda Country Club from 24th November to 26th November. It was very fun as all my siblings were there and most of my nieces and nephews were present also. Thus, it was almost like an early family reunion dinner except that now it’s BBQ.

Wifey had bought concert tix for Kylie 2008 on the 25th November, which is the 2nd day of my family chalet. Since all my family members are in the chalet there is no one at home. Thus, wifey and I had planned to stay overnight at my house after his concert.

Initially, we discussed and agreed that after the concert I will meet him and help him to carry his barang barang since he will be having a lot of stuff with him if he were to go concert and stay overnight at my place. Thus, in the afternoon, I went to Wild Wild Wet with my nephews and niece to play and only got back to the chalet around 6.00pm

Only when I reached and checked my phone that wifey sms me many times to meet him to take his stuff and when we talked on the phone, he sounded unhappy as we had a miscommunication about his barang barang. It turned out that wifey wanted me to take his stuff from him before he goes concert and bring it back home instead. Well, I was not happy too as I really thought the arrangement was the previous and not latter.

In the end, wifey took a cab down to pass me his stuff and continue his way to the concert. In the meantime I had to convince my siblings to stay in the chalet so that I can go back home to sleep. I was pretty unhappy when he passes me the stuff. Not because I have to take the stuff but he kind of put the blame on me initially over the miscommunication. Guess it's the tone and pitch of his voice that really makes my mood goes 180 degrees change.

Anyway, I try to forget this unhappiness and BBQ with the kids. When it was around 10.30pm, I took a quick shower and left the chalet around 11.00pm. I only reached him around 11.45pm, gosh that bus is real slow. Wifey reached around 12 midnight and he was looking really tire. He was really hungry also thus we went to the new Malay Stall to eat supple.

After food, we washed his t-shirt and while waiting for it to wash, we started hugging and kissing. Alright I started hugging and kissing as wifey is tire but I was horny for him. Started off with his nipples since that is the main area that can really turn him on and excited. It worked well and soon he was also sucking my dick as I finger him.

When wifey was all ready, we started to make-love. Wifey lie side way with his right leg up and I slowly slid my manhood inside him. Wifey always like me to enter him slow. He also likes it a lot when I pull out my manhood halfway and slowly shove it in deeply inside him again. This makes him high and he will moan. From side way, we slowly shift and change into missionary where we can see each other and kiss as we make-love.

Wifey sometimes like it fast and hard as well, depending on his mood. While making-love and kissing him halfway, he wanted me to go faster and harder (I like it more this way) and I gladly give him what he wants. We were also kissing and when I was about to cum, I pull my manhood out from wifey's forbidden temple and shoot my load all over his chest and stomach. It was a good load and I felt great.

Wifey was hard and I started to jerk him off with my cum. Wifey then asked me if I am still hard and since I am, wifey asked me to continue fuck him as he jerk himself. I continue to pound wifey's ass with my manhood as wifey jerk off. I also played with his nipples, making him very high and within seconds, wifey cum on himself…

We washed up together and also hang his t-shirt to dry. Then we slept on my bed holding each other's hand. I like to sleep beside wifey. I do not know why but I can smell wifey's scent and I like it. In the morning when we woke up I was kind of cuddling my wifey from behind and I like that feeling.

“Muacks Muacks to my Wifey”
“Love You Deeply”
Hubby Roger

Office Fuck

22nd November 2008

I don't usually like to use the word fuck when it comes down to me and wifey because that sounds kind of emotionless. It's almost like a one night stand kind of thing and I hate that idea. This time round however is really an office fuck and here's what happen.

Saturday I am working alone as I had told my colleague that wifey and his school friends want to drop by to do their school project. Since Saturday is a relatively quiet day, my colleague decided not to come since I will be in office. Good for me and also for wifey as that will give them more freedom to complete their school project.

The night before I had passed by NTUC to buy some ingredients for lunch in office. Wifey had told his friends that we will be eating steamboat lunch. By 10.30 in the morning, wifey and his friends reached my office. I started off showing them the facilities and some of them are pretty excited about what my workplace can offer. After that wifey proceed to do his project while I try to help as much as possible when needed. The soup was bring prepared early morning when I reached office so that later it will smell and taste really sweet. Rice was also prepared and can be cooked and consumed in 15 minutes.

When it was near to lunch time, one of wifey's friend, together with wifey head to NTUC to buy ingredients for the steamboat. We had a really enjoyable lunch and everyone was eating and joking happily in the pantry area. Although half-way during lunch, my superior came back to do some stuff, she was okie with us and we continue our makan. After the food, I cleaned up the pantry while they continue to touch up their project and make the final amendments required. By around 3.00pm everything was done. Wifey and his friends then helped me to set up the Christmas tree with the left-over deco from last two years. By 3.30pm, wifey's friends left the office and we were all alone.

As it was raining, we were not able to go back. We were also both horny for each other and we locked ourselves in the office and started to kiss and hug. One thing leads to another and soon our clothes are off and wifey is sucking my dick while I caress his nipples and suck him after that. Wifey was jumpy as he was afraid that someone may come into the office anytime. Thus, he mentioned to me to make it a quickie for this time round. I fingered wifey for a couple of seconds and then he was sitting on my dick already. It was really a quick one compared to all other love-making sessions we had. Since the place is also kind of small, the sitting position did not last long and I was fucking wifey standing up with his hands on my table.

The fuck did not last long since wifey told me again to be quick and cum inside him. Wifey also shot his cum within two minutes when I was fucking him and then I cummed inside him within 5 minutes. This is really the fastest time I ever fucked and cummed in my whole life. I hope I don't have to cum like this again as I preferred slow love-making session with lots of kissing and hugging with my wifey.

After washing up. I also told wifey how I felt about the session as he told me I looked unhappy. Maybe I was but not that kind of unhappy where I am not happy with sex. To be honest, I felt excited and thrilled as I always want to make-love with wifey in my office and now he made the wish come true. I was hoping for this excitement to last longer than 5 minutes. Anyway, I am grateful for wifey's bold and daring acts in my office cos I know he is the kind that will not do such a thing. He has made compromises to his own principles and beliefs to try to make me a happier man and that was very much appreciated.

“Love You Dearly Wifey Shaari”
Hubby Roger

reconcilation

15th November 2008

I was still feeling down from what happened last night with wifey but I had to attend a seminar in RJC today so I made my way there in the early hours. My eyes are still a little puffy form the crying last night but I don’t really give a damn.

Things are not really settled and my heart felt like it was been reaped out from my body. When I reached RJC, I gave wifey a sms to tell him where I was. We exchanged a couple of sms to comfort each other and tell each other how much we are in love. This is important because I know I was hurt badly from last night’s adventure but I also know my love for wifey did not decrease any bit.

In fact, I loved wifey very much even though what he had done or treated me. Some people will say I am an idiot but it does not matter. I know who I love and who I should devote myself to.

Although what had happened cannot be changed, the only way to avoid same thing from happening is to learn from this experience and try my very best not to let it happen again. Wifey is also hurt I know. I am not the only one upset.

"Wifey Shaari, I Love You."
Hubby Roger

left behind...

14th November 2008

This is supposed to be a good day for me since I am going to meet the love of my life a.k.a. Wifey Shaari. However things did not turn out as well as I had planned to have on this day. Today, I had an appointment with my clients at the clinic for their tattoo removal session in the afternoon at 3.00pm. After the appointment I am free to go and thus had arranged earlier with wifey to go for a walk together and catch dinner.

Well, things turn out well for the start and I managed to catch wifey at Bugis early. We even catch the movie Madagascar II together. It was a nice movie, full of jokes and laughter throughout even though the drawings of the animals are kind of sucky to me. After the movie, we were both hungry and we walked around Bugis discussing what to have for dinner. We chanced upon two possible choices, either the dinner buffet of Nonya food or the Chinese noodles stall next to it where lots of people are eating the delicious smelling wanton noodles.

It was not an easy choice and I do not like to make my choice to what I like (prefer wanton noodles) as I can see wifey seem to prefer the Nonya buffet. Thus, I throw the responsibility of the choice to wifey. Well, wifey can’t decide also thus we choose to walk around the area and see if we can spot a 3rd possible choice. We walked pretty far to the end of the street and sad to say, we did not managed to shortlist another good dinner location.

Was suggesting to wifey then to head back to the wanton stall for dinner and wifey started to say that it was a bit stupid to make him walked so far and so much and now want to go back there to eat dinner. As he was grumbling I tried to stop him by telling him to choose then where he prefers to have dinner. The worse of all started from here. Wifey did not hear me and so to get his attention I made a clap in front of his face to make him look at me. Well, I did not have any intention to embarrassed wifey at all with what I have done as my aim to get him to choose and not to ruin the night by complaining but somehow, he took it as a form of insult and was angry with me, thinking that he was embarrassed and lots of people looked at him when I clapped. I was also starting to get pissed off as all I wanted was to please him and yet my kind intention seems to be throw down onto the floor and stepped all over by him.

We started to walk off in a short distance. Me walked in the shelter while he on the road. We are not very far apart though, maximum 3 metres only. I walked with constant glances at him until the corner where I turn left to head for the wanton noodles stall and since I was in front a bit, I am not able to see if wifey followed me. I guessed he did as it's unlike him not to follow, and even if he does not follow he will call out to me to follow him. So I continued walking and when I am in front of the noodles shop, I waited there and looked around for him. 1 minute passed... 5 minutes passed... and wifey is no where to be seen. This is maddening to me so I walked back and see if he is standing by the intersection point waiting for me.

To my horror he was no where to be found. I am terrified as my mobile is dead (wifey knew) and the place is crowded. I started to walk back to the end point where we started the fight to look for him. I walked like about 5 to 6 times up and down the place frantically looking for wifey. I even walked to the other side of the road and make a big round (almost lose my way) back to the noodle shop hoping to find him. My eyes started to tear as I am freaking worried about wifey’s safety. Of course he is old enough to take care of himself but accidents can happen to anyone anytime. I also made my way to and fro the MRT station and noodle shop hoping to bump into wifey. I was really feeling worried. I found a coin phone and tried to get the coffee shop uncle to exchange coins with me so that I can make a call to wifey but that uncle refuses to change (now I started to hate his race more).

I kept walking around and found a vending machine where I bought a bottle of coke for S$1.70 so that I can get a change of one 10 cents coin to make a call to wifey. When I called him, I was worried and angry at the same time. Wifey was already on the train and reaching Tampines MRT station. I was really stunned and suddenly just feel like vomiting even though I had not taken dinner. I didn’t know what to think of say when I was deeply worried he was on his way home without a thought of me. I knew he wanted to explain something but I was not in the state to listen. I hang up the phone and walk away aimlessly without knowing where I was heading. My thoughts are really blank after I hang up the phone. I just walked and walked like a soulless zombie until I breakdown and cried somewhere. After drying my tears, I hailed a cab home. During the trip back, the cab driver tried to have a conversation with me but I simply ignore and closed my eyes. How I wished that the driver can just drive me somewhere, kill me and dump my body somewhere not to be found.

When I finally reached home, I changed and sat in front of my PC thinking about my relationship with wifey. I started to wonder if I am even in his life. I do not understand how he can just dump me there and take train home by himself knowing I am not contactable, and worse no means to contact him. I just felt so miserable and lonely back in my room. I picked up my room phone and give him a miss call to tell him I am home just in case he is worried. Wifey called back later and when I hear his voice I break into tears again. Even though he apologized many times and tried to explain what went on, my mind just cannot take in anything. Most of the time wifey just talked and apologized. I heard his voice but that's all I can hear... his voice...

“Wifey Shaari, I Love you."

Hubby Roger

Trevvy user - dylan1611

14th November 2008

Trevvy is one of the most popular gay website in the cyber world. Its primary purpose, likw all other gay websites such as Fridae, Guys4men etc, is to let gay people around the world get to know other gay people around their neighbourhood, hopefully for them to find a good partner for long-term relationship to settle down and even get true friendship. However, there are always abuses to such services and somehow this website like many others is becoming more “sexual encounter” seeking site.

I got a message from a guy this morning asking for sex. I started to realize how bad the situation has gotten from such website.

Love Note From dylan1611:
gosh boy

you are so fucking sexy and cute

can i know you?

can i make love to you?

am 32 chn 179 69

enjoys swimming jogging new age music and making love =P

96955373 contact me if keen

btw i dun have pic just in case u ask for it

cheers

Well… in my profile, I put up a picture (ugly) of myself with three of my friends. The only thing different is this picture was edited by my ex-colleague with Photoshop thus all my friends have my face. And honestly, it is not the kind of face that one person see will comment as sexy and cute. That message just shows how desperate people are for sex and they will give any compliment for the chance to have it.

Well, I replied this dylan1611 guy with the below:

Re:Love Note From dylan1611
gosh thanks for the praises

but is that a standard template for your "asking for sex"

cos my partner received the same message as well...

man u got to put in some effort if u wanna ask ppl for sex

but anyway no thanks to ur generous offer

and i doubt anyone would wanna make love to u if u dun provide a picture

When I message him “cos my partner received the same message as well...” I meant the truth. Many months ago, still some time in 2008, I was bunking over wifey's house while he go clubbing. I was bored and on his lappy and internet to surf net. Logging on to trevvy webpage and he did not logout his trevvy thus I took a glimpse of his profile and see who sent him kisses/spanks and also messages. I saw the almost exact message from this dylan1611 saying my wifey was cute and sexy and want to have his big dick inside my wifey’s virgin ass. Well, and sad to say, when I checked wifey’s reply, he was happy to have it and asking for future contacts. It hurts me a lot that night. Even though wifey may not mean it and most likely having him on, it still hurts, and it hurts big time.

From that day on, I never wanted to ever see who sent my wifey message, who sent him kisses, who sent him spanks anymore. I am not sure if I can take it again when I see such messages to him and from him to others. I reckon that when he said he loves me very much, he really mean it. Thus, he will not ever do such a thing to me to hurt me even though I would never ever find out. But then who knows that coincidences miracles may happen for me to see (hopefully not) and I do not want my heart hurt like that night again. It really felt like my heart was pierced by countless stakes.

“Wifey Shaari, I Love You & You Only”
Hubby Roger

15 months

12th November 2008

I must be one of the strangest gay persons in this world. I referred myself as one of them because I am sure there must be some more gays around the world that behaved like me, and some more extreme than me.

I like to celebrate anniversary. Is that strange? I guess not since people always celebrates wedding anniversaries… 1 year, 5 years, 10 years, 20 years… and goes on. For me, I celebrate it by the months as well. At least it’s not as extreme to celebrate by the weeks or days, minutes and seconds…

Today is 12th November 2008, a Wednesday. Nice weather and feeling nice and all. Today is also the anniversary I like to celebrate with my wifey. We’ve married each other for 15 months. Well, it made me sound crazy to celebrate 1 year and 3 months so I decided to celebrate it as 15th month… make it sound similar to 15th years into marriage kind of thing.

I had designed a card for wifey as usual, but that was done yesterday. Only pity is lacking the paper and the opportunity to print the card since my superior came back office to work at the later afternoon. Anyway, as mentioned I lacked papers to print as well. Then I met up with wifey with the intention to gym, but we ended up eating Japanese food at The Cathay. Suits me since I am also famished.

Sent wifey home via bus (my prayers to have empty seats to sit with wifey did not work) after the meal and was planning to go get the papers after that but wifey stopped me. He knew I wanted to print card for him thus he stopped me afraid that I will be too tire after I got home. Really sweet of him and I really appreciate that gesture.

No choice got to think of something else. Woke up damn early to go to office to source for possible materials and to work my brain for some creative juices. Managed to print out the card on some papers and put them together to become one single anniversary card. Am very pleased with my work though the creative side is really running out.


Well, wifey is on half-day school today and will end at 1.00pm. He planned to go gym and he still does not know I have taken time off to join him. Going to surprise him and will put the card in his letter box after I sent him home. He needs to work his ass and legs to go down and open the letter-box to receive the card.



Not sure if he is still keen or even happy to receive cards from me. He always says cannot do or pamper me as often as I might get used to it. Am I pampering him too much and spoiling him too much at this point of time? Maybe I am… but if I do not pamper him and spoil him, who can I pamper and spoil?? He is my wifey and I love him more than myself. Hope someday he can also pamper me and spoil me and love me more than he loves himself.

“Wifey Shaari, Happy 15th Month”
“I LUV U”
Hubby Roger

Friday with wifey

7th November 2008

Today, I was alone in office for the whole morning as both my colleagues are working afternoon shift. The morning was peaceful as youths don’t usually drop-in so early thus I’ve got my own time to surf net and finish up some of my reports. Further more, I am in a good mood as wifey and I already made plans to date each other.

Then, one of the nightmares started!!

My colleague came in and we started chatting. Don’t get me wrong, my colleague is not my nightmare. He is a nice guy in fact. My nightmare is that I am supposed to go for a research network today at Ghim Mok CC from 3.00pm to 5.00pm with my colleagues from other centres and I TOTALLY FORGOTTEN ABOUT IT!!

Really get into this panic mode as this research network is only once a year and it was tasked by my boss to attend. Anyway, I have the time to reach the place but I am not in the proper attire. Am wearing only berms today. Totally, totally screw up my schedule.

No choice, had to sms my boss and told her I got some personal problem (well, dating my wife is personal). Although I know she will not mind as her character is very accommodating especially when it comes to staff’s needs. I still feel bad as it seems like I am taking advantages out of her. Well, thing still has to be settled else the situation will only get sticky.

Finally, things got settled and I was on my way to Dhoby Ghaut MRT to meet my wifey for our date. This is where nightmare two started - my mobile phone.

I do not understand one thing. This LG KS20 phone is quite new and I had also adjusted the ring tone to the max, and changed the ring tone to something louder, with adding on the vibration mode. Somehow, if I can’t hear the ringtone, I will be able to feel the vibration. When wifey called me for a few times, I totally did not hear any sound or feel any vibration. This is really ridiculous. The best part is the phone is in my right berms pocket only. Does that indicate a new phone coming my way??

Well, when wifey and me reached Vivo, we were not very excited but we are happy. The last time I met him in Vivo was in January when we are going Sentosa for my birthday. Most of the shops are Vivo are opened already and there are some sales going on as well.

We did not spend a lot as we are both pretty broke recently. That’s one thing I do not understand. Why is it always having sales whenever we are broke? That is the question me and wifey always ask each other, but we never got any answer.

Wifey bought 2 new private structure underwear. They are very nice. They are new but not in design and having offer. Each piece only sells at S$9.90 and normal price is about S$29.90. Thus, that is really a big saver for him and me. Hope I am the only one that gets to see him wear those underwear.

One thing that makes me happy today is wifey wearing the white Giordano berms I bought for him. Although I do not really like him wearing white cos it’s way too sexy and sometimes let others see what underwear he wear inside, but I have to admit he looks very good in white berms. This Giordano white berm is slightly thicker in material thus, can’t really see what underwear he is wearing. He also wore a white underwear to prevent the see through effect as well, very thoughtful of him.

We then head to Kim Gary to eat food. It’s very Hong Kong café style but the food is less pricy and taste good. Wifey did not order a lot of food and the food he ordered for himself is not expensive. Think he is trying to save money for me knowing that I will be paying. Even when I asked him if he wanted more side dish, he refused.

After food, wifey had hinted that he want to go H81. I am not sure if I can perform sexually well in bed as I had jerked off last night anticipating that today we are not making love. It was a mixed feeling as I miss him very much and wanted a space for me to hug him and kiss him.

We proceed to Outram and took a stroll since our tummies are still filled with food. He brought me around tanjong pagar where all clubbing areas are and explained to me the history of the gay clubs and also some of his past. We also looked at some of the new hotels around the area which are really nice on the outlook.

When we reach H81, we booked a room for 2 hours. Strangely we were allocated a room right at the first storey. It’s kind of weird as we can constantly hear people walking outside the room along the corridor and also some argument and conversation that are bit loud.

We kissed and hugged a lot in the room. I really love kissing wifey although I do not know why. He seems to have the tenderest loving kiss in this whole wide world. He even make a little joke that we will break the Guinness world record of the longest kissing gay couple and that makes our mood lighten and happier. He also gave me a good blow and I gave him a good nipple suck and finger fuck.

We proceed to fuck and it was not as smooth as our kissing and hugging, He was bleeding slightly inside after a short fuck and also he was in pain. Guess my skills are deteriorating. Wifey was frustrated as he felt pain thus his tone of voice was slightly irritating and that also makes me lose the mood to continue fucking. We end up jerking off and I cummed on wifey’s dick and use my cum to lubricate his dick and jerk him off there after.

“Wifey Shaari, thanks for all your thoughtfulness.”
“I LOVE YOU”
“FOREVER”
Hubby Roger

P/S: If I had said something wrong or hurtful to you about our love-making, please do not take it to heart. I do not mean to hurt you in anyway but sometimes I also felt frustrated. I always love you wifey. Muacks.

SMS

Short Message Service - One of the services that cannot be missed by almost anyone who owns a mobile phone nowadays. Most people who own a mobile phone send at least one sms to their friends, loves, and family.

I am the kind of person who likes my partner to do small little things to express his love for me. In my own opinion, the small little things in life take less effort but more endurance and determination to do as they can be done frequently compared to big things. SMS is one of the small little things I like my wifey to do. I also like to keep wifey's sms especially those that are super loving. They warmed my heart and keeps it pumping.

Below are some of the sms wifey sent me and when he sent it.

“am sorie bout the pics hubby promise u no more k muack love u nitey nite”
sent after I got jealous of an intimate picture he took with JP

“hehehe thanx hubby muack love u my dear niwae

don't worry I will look after u even u r old”
sent after I told wifey how I felt about my age difference with his

“don't want I want to sleep somemore

I miss ur fucking ur dick in my ass am so horny”
sent after I try to wake him up for school and we did not get to make love for some time

“I LOVE U the vow I take wif u I treasure it always sorie

for all unhappiness I cause u hope tat we will hav more happiness

am not as vocal as u when cometo expressing my love coz am more guarded

as I don't want my heart to get broken again

but the my heart is nw willing to open up more to u if u notice :)

I will try hard to b ur gd wifey and to love u to my last breaths”
sent after a little tiff with wifey… I cried that night

“my dear hubby roger on the eve of our anniversary

I juz wanna thank u for the memories the love the warmth

and treating me like a princess always :)

muack muack wifey shaari

mayb our dream of having a proper wedding come true soon

muack wif all my heart”
sent on the eve of our one year anniversary

“hubby am really sorie I know u were abit unhappy todae

sorie for being selfish todae I will try my best to b a gd wife K

juy give me time muack muack I love u very very much

wif my whole heart :) I really miss u”
sent after a small argument… almost cried again but held back my tears

don't wannt be a cry-baby

“hubby roger ong…….. wifey shaari sapari love u forever and ever

thanx for ur love will treasure u and protect our love

wif all my life muack muack”
sent out of his genuine love and replied with pure love from me

There are of course many more sms I kept that he sent me. The sms I kept mostly are those that wifey called me hubby, or sms that he expresses how much he loves me.

I really love receiving such sms from wifey… it’s a small little thing, took less than 1 minute to do, yet it means a lot to me. It warms me to the core of my heart.

“I LOVE YOU WIFEY SHAARI.”
“THANK YOU FOR ALL THE LOVELY SMS.”
Hubby Roger